


Ask Me Again

by mirrorworldangel



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Ex Lovers, M/M, Siege the Valentines 2021, Smoking, old men falling in love again, petting cats as theraphy, reunited, they have the waiting game, this whole chapter is their relationship counseling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29263377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirrorworldangel/pseuds/mirrorworldangel
Summary: Duty-bound, they cannot be together until the day they die. But that does not stop them from asking for the offer.Siege the Valentines Day 7"Be mine until the end of time."
Relationships: Sam “Zero” Fisher/Jalal "Kaid" El Fassi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20
Collections: SiegeTheValentines_2021





	Ask Me Again

**Author's Note:**

> In summary short, Kaid and Zero were lovers before he had to break things off because of his wife's pregnancy to his daughter. They still have feelings for one another, but circumstances always seem to get in the way from being together throughout the years. They would always ask the same question every time they meet each other again, and they will wait for the other until one of them said yes.
> 
> I don't know why I have the feeling to do something that is not fluff, then I got my answer: period.
> 
> And I was listening to Muse - Hoodoo while typing this, and it hurts me so good.

It has been 37 years.

Since he last saw that man in the desert fortress.

And now he is here again.

All in the flesh.

His ex-lover.

_His old soul._

“Everybody, may I introduce to you Mr. Samuel Fisher or Zero from now.” 

\------------------

The two of them, or more particularly Zero, avoided each other as if either one of them had the plague. But life would handle that no more when both of them stumbled upon one another once more when Zero entered the break room to refill his coffee mug. The Defender commanding officer was quietly enjoying his milk tea when the American entered the room.

“El Fassi,” said Zero calmly, his voice gruff with a serious expression.

“Fisher,” Kaid replied with a stiff nod. 

Silence filled the room, suffocating them in tension. The only thing that is making the sound is the coffee machine. But every second taken felt like a lifetime, and so, Zero broke his silence.

“It’s been too long,” said Zero, playing with his mug. 

“Since 1983, in Morocco,” Kaid mused, before sipping his milk tea.

“You were a lieutenant-colonel,” Zero added, giving a small hum in thought.

“And you had a knife to my throat,” Kaid quipped, pulling his collar to show a small scar on his neck. 

Zero had to chuckle at the memory of their first meeting. He wasn’t aware of the subtle glances made by Kaid.

Another round of silence. This time Kaid broke his. 

“# _أرى أن الوقت قد أنعمك جيدًا_ ,” spoke Kaid in his mother tongue, his voice gave a drawl of deep melody. 

“# _وأرى أنها لم تسلب لسانك الشعري_ ,” Zero quipped back, causing the other man to throw his head back with a chuckle.

The two senior operators continued to share a small laugh with each other, sometimes sharing their memories of their pasts and before they knew it, it was past 3 pm and Zero has about three minutes left before his next meeting.As he was about to sprint out of the room, a voice called him out.

“Samuel,” Kaid yelled, causing Zero to turn around and face him.

“It’s nice to see you again,” he said, looking at him with eyes that Zero assumed were glimmering with hope...or nostalgia?

Zero gave a small smile in return.

“Likewise, Jalal.” And he left the room, his coffee mug still empty.

\-------------------

Weeks have passed that soon turned into months, and the others have seemed to realise the silent tension between their Defender commanding officer and their new Staff committee member.

“Whenever I am in the room with both of them, I feel like a child in a divorced family,” Rook worriedly replied, his hands gently cradling a small service puppy in training. 

“There’s no way those two have dated,” Lion yelled in denial, before his face turned doubtful. “Could they?”

“Oh if it were true, that would be so romantic,” Frost cooed, holding her hands close to her heart. “Old flames meeting once more by a chance of fate, that sounds like a classic romantic movie,” she added, causing Rook to hum along with her.

“I don’t know...we may have been under his wing for a long time, but even his history is still a mystery to us,” Nomad replied in question, with Oryx next to her nodding in agreement as he ponders in his thoughts with his hands crossed.

“Hey Mike, you know al-Fassi for a while right?” Pulse asked out loud, staring at the senior British operator doing his paperwork alone on one of the cafeteria tables.

“That man is as private as an oyster in the sea,” Thatcher replied in a heartbeat without looking away from his paperwork. “So don’t ask me about his private life again because I am as clueless as you.”

“Whatever they had in the past, it’s their problem not ours. It’s not our place to interfere, they are not the Katebs’,” Oryx added, finally speaking out. 

“True, we shouldn’t interfere with this one,” Frost replied with a hint of disappointment, and everybody around her hummed in a unanimous agreement.“And all of you hand in your paperwork before 6 pm today!” Thatcher yelled after a bit of silence.

Everybody groaned in disdain.

\-------------------

It was night, too late for any sane man to stay up and too early for the sun to rise. Other than the usual engineers and insomniacs, Zero was up walking through the corridors on his way to the courtyards for a bit of fresh air, only to find the same man he had been dodging for the past months. Leaning against the brick stone wall with his hands laid on top of it, the Moroccon man was also found accompanying himself with a recognisable feline with fur of snow white and eyes like whiskey. 

“I see you kept Jannah,” said Zero, causing both man and feline to turn around and face him.

Kaid relaxed from his spot and returned adoring the feline with affection. “That’s her child, Sawsan, from her third litter. She died some time ago,” he said, never minding the feline’s playful nipping upon his fingers.

“Oh,” he hummed, walking towards their side. He then raised a hand for the cat to sniff upon, which it later began to rub its head upon. “I thought the Fortress forbids strays,” Zero mused, watching the feline rubbed itself for a few minutes before returning to its owner’s side.

“Cats are good at dealing with the rat problem, her litter is proof. And the Fortress is now mine, so my word is law,” Kaid retorted with a fierce look, his hand protectively held upon the feline’s scruff of the neck, ready to be taken into his arms.

Zero could only chuckle at that. Kaid does have an infatuation for felines.

Zero then pulled out a small box of cigarettes and a metal lighter from his jacket, and that bright the interest of the Moroccan. “I don’t remember you as a smoking type,” he quipped out loud, watching the other man light up his cigarette.

“Stress; it’s taking a toll on me,” his voice muffled the cigarette between his lips as he took in drag from it and let out a puff of smoke in the air. “Besides, I don’t do it that much,” he added. He then hands out the cigarette to Kaid with two fingers, nodding his head at the object as an offering. 

“Try mixing cannabis with your cigarettes. The Russian sniper might help you with that,” Kaid replied, accepting the cigarette from his hands to take a drag out of it. “And I know * _ cough _ * Vincente * _ cough _ * has stronger cigars,” he coughed, causing the feline to flinch back from the sudden noise and walked its way to Zero’s side before giving it back to him.

“Having another smoking partner behind me? I am hurt,” Zero joked, taking back the cigarette from the other man’s fingers. 

They continued this for a while, sharing the burning item with each other, occasionally petting the cat whenever it pleases to obtain affection from one of them. The silence of the night comforts them, and the smoke dances around them like a dark, warm blanket in the air.

“Do you still remember the times we had, in that old safe house?” Kaid mused dreamily, watching the nightlife of the Greek island opposite to them with the feline curling itself against his neck.

Zero sighed, remembering the past once more “How can I forget? We _ lived _ there,” he answered, taking another drag of the cigarette.

\-------------------

_ It was another night in one of the small villages in the warm desert of Morocco, but it was also, should it if were possible, their last. _

_ Two figures laying side by side under the thin sheets, their naked bodies glistening in sweat from the mixture of heat and passion, their limbs entangled upon one another, hands dancing around each other’s bodies, tracing back the mark made during their previous carnal dance. _

_ Zero’s eyes were shut, relaxed at the gentle ministrations the other man was making upon his back. How his gentle fingers are caressing his neck like a paintbrush on a canvas, sending him into a peaceful lull of dreamless slumber. _

_ And as much as he wanted to stay, he forced himself to get up from the bed and pick up his clothes from the cold floor, only to be stopped by a pair of arms wrapping around him and a soft pair of lips kissing his shoulder.  _

_ “I have to go,” Zero resisted, trying to pull the other man’s arms off from him to no avail. “I cannot stay any longer,” he added, but the response was a sudden force pulling him back to the bed and sitting upon the other man’s lap, now facing a smiling Kaid, his eyes crinkled with mischief and a sense of calm carried within.  _

_ “Stay, your flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow night,” Kaid retorted, _

_ “Then your superiors might look for you, wondering where their soon-to-be colonel has disappeared to?” _

_ “Leave them be; they will not look for us,” he replied, pulling the other man closer to his body. “They have given me the day off for their loyal pup to rest,” he added. “And that gives me more time for all of you,” he added with a smirk, causing the American to chuckle out loud when the Moroccon leaned into kissing the other man’s neck. _

_ Zero retaliated by pulling the back of his dark hair, causing the man to lean his head backward and kiss him with fervor. They continued to share kisses and caresses upon one another until the need for air was too great, and so they basked themselves in the arms of one another. _

_ “If given the chance,” Kaid softly asked, pulling Zero’s hands into his and looking into his eyes. “Will you be mine until the end of time?” _

_ Zero became quiet. He stared at the Moroccon seriously for a full minute before he gave his reply. _

_ “ _ _ You know we can’t; they will shun you, and you will be nothing but the black sheep of the community,” Zero asked, his voice had a sense of worry for the younger man beneath him.  _

_ “I never cared about gossip, you of all people know this,” Kaid scoffed, looking away while still arms locked around the other man’s waist.  _

_ “I will not risk it, you’ve come so far just to throw it away!” Zero hissed, his nails dug upon the man’s shoulders, leaving crescent marks upon his flesh. _

_ “Then when?” Kaid questioned, spinning the man sitting above him to lay him down to the bed, his body laid on top of him. “Will you still give this fool a lover’s hope?” He growled, staring at the stubborn man beneath him with the ferocity of a growling cheetah. _

_ “Then ask me again. When we are free from every duty, free to be ourselves, to be together,” Zero replied with the same answer he had given to him many times before, and so did Kaid when he asked him so. He did not resist when the other man placed both of his arms by each side of his head, caging him down to the bed like a predator ready to pounce upon its prey. _

_ “When?” Kaid growled, pinning the other man down with his body. “When will I be able to? When you are 6 feet under?”  _

_ “No, but someday, in another time or another life, you will ask me again…” And Zero dragged the man by the back of his neck and kissed him messily, hoping that the man above him would let the matter slide. And with how he is reacting by his growl, Zero knew he won for now. _

__

\---------------

__

“I screwed us up, didn’t I?” said Zero, taking a long drag from his cigarette. “I abandoned you for a child I never planned for.” 

“You did what you have to do as a responsible man and a parent,” Kaid consoled, walking closer to the American, pulling the other man close by the shoulder to face him. And I forgive you for that, we are young, we are foolish.”

“But foolish to leave you alone in that place! To break your heart in two!” Zero hissed, putting the cigarette aside, having no feeling to take in more of it again. “Don’t lie to me, you’ve never forgiven me! You tried to shoot me! And I always know you never let a grudge go!” 

__

But Kaid did not say a word; he simply took the cigarette from the stonewall and took a deep puff from it.

__

“My offer still stands, Samuel,” Kaid calmly replied, in contrast to the other man’s agitation. “It always has been.”

__

Zero froze and turned his head to stare at him with surprise, watching the other man take another puff of the cigarette.

__

“After all these years, even when I don’t deserve it?” he asked incredulously.

“Do you still doubt me and my loyalty to you?” Kaid mused out loud, taking out the cigarette from his lips and putting them upon Zero’s own. He then took one of Zero’s calloused hands and turned them around to kiss his wrist, while at the same time a slow puff of smoke escaped from his lips.

“But you can’t, isn’t it?” Zero asked this time, knowing what the answer was.

__

This time Kaid was silent, eyes looking away from the other man.

__

“Even if I ask you to run away with me, right now?” He asked, challenging the other man. “Would you pledge your loyalty to me if it means to abandon everything here?” 

“You know I cannot abandon the Fortress, she still needs me, my comrades need me. We are men of duty, born to serve and sworn to protect. Peace was never an option in our lives, you of all people know this,” Kaid answered calmly, finally looking at the man in front of him.

“I know…” Zero repeated, eyes closed with disdain. “You did what you had to do. As a leader, a commander, a soldier, a fellow friend, a father figure while doing the right thing to do. And all of that, you still are the same fresh-faced lieutenant-colonel that did not hesitate to take me down even when I already broke your arms,” he breathed out turning around to face him, eyes shining with tears brimming at the edge of his eye. But all he received was silence, and it hurt. Deeply.

“There is no chance for us to be selfish, do we?” Zero breathed out, looking at the sky with a sense of hopelessness washing all over him.

Oh, how the heavens cursed the two of them, to never be in peace with one another, even when they are a few steps apart. He doesn’t care how his body is trembling in emotional pain, how his hair is no longer slicked back and is now a mess of strands upon his face.

__

Zero felt a gloved hand upon his cheek, and felt Kaid wiped off the brimming tears away. They stared at one another, and placed their foreheads upon the other in comfort. Zero held the hand tightly, and closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths until he was shaking no more before opening them to see the very brown eyes he had missed for so long...

__

“Then ask me again, when we are finally free to be together. Ask me once more when I am the Kaid no more,” Kaid whispered to his lips. “Can you promise this to me?” he asked in plea.

“Even if you know the chances of that happening might be slim?” Zero replied in doubt, leaning in but never touching.

“# _ من فضلك يا روحي. اسمحوا لي أن أتمنى ، مرة واحدة فقط _ ,” he mumbled, his voice begging to the American, his lips hovering upon the other.

Zero took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “# _ بقسم حياتك سأفع _ ل,” he vowed, before finally closing the gap between them.

__

The kiss between the two old flames was slow, calm and easy-paced unlike their past kisses filled with clashing teeth and some occasional blood. The wind was too cold, there was a possibility of an early riser to catch them on sight, but it felt right to them. Their youth may have been taken away from them, but that doesn’t mean that they couldn’t take another shot at the relationship of theirs, 

__

They parted with an exhale, all of the tension between them have finally been released out of the world.

__

“Goodnight, Samuel,” Kaid breathed out, pulling away from the other man and walking back inside. Sawsan leaped down from the stonewall and to its master’s side and elegantly disappeared into the building with such quick grace.

“Goodnight,” Zero replied, watching the other man walk away. 

__

And leaving him alone in the night with a burnt-out cigarette.

**Author's Note:**

> Translation:  
> 1\. I see that time has graced you well  
> 2\. And I see it didn’t take away your poetry tongue  
> 3\. Please, my soul. Let me hope, just once.  
> 4\. By the oath of your life, I will.
> 
> Sawsan is a feminine name for Lily of the Valley in Arabic. And Jannah is a Malay name that is derived from the Islamic term meaning 'paradise'. I remember one of my old teachers said that name was the prettiest name for a lady to have because one of my old classmates have that name.


End file.
